Our First Mission
Here at Cross Creek Church, our theme for 2024 is the word “mission”. We are called to be on mission for Christ, though sometimes it can be difficult to know what that looks like practically in our lives. We at More Than Sundays are here to help with that – this article is a part of a series about our God-given responsibility to live on mission in our communities, regardless of what those communities may be. We hope it is helpful and edifying for you. Please enjoy!
Family is one of the greatest examples of God’s beautiful grace and abundant gifts, and it is the first gift we are given. Babies grow within their mother’s womb for nine months- all they know is warmth and safety. All of a sudden, they are thrust into a cold and bright world, immediately kicking and screaming and afraid, until they are placed on the chest of their mother – a familiar scent and innate sense of connection immediately bonds the baby to mother, and heals the first trauma of birth. Skin to skin contact between a mother and her newborn decreases the stress levels of both mother and baby, benefits the newborn’s oxygen levels, body temperature, digestion, and immune system, and even decreases post-birth bleeding for the mother (SHN Staff, 2023). Soon after birth, we are fed and nourished through her body which releases oxytocin in both the mother and the baby; this active hormone, “the love hormone”, dynamically builds trust, love, and attachment. Immediately we are given love, shelter, and nourishment through our family; we would not be able to survive on our own. The world is hard and painful, and family – whether biological, adopted, or through a marriage vow – is an example of God’s grace through the sweet, familiar solace it provides during tough moments and the worst of days. We are allowed to be the vessel of the unconditional love of Jesus through the love and commitment we share with our family. We are allowed to experience unconditional love, provision, and forgiveness from our family. Even though it takes self-discipline to be a loving family member most of the time, it is still a sacred gift to be stewarded well. Family is our first and greatest mission when it comes to following Christ.
As Christians, we are followers, apprentices, and disciples of Jesus. We are to follow Him closely and reflect the way He lived. 1 John 2:6 (ESV) says, “Whoever says he abides in him ought to walk in the same way in which he walked.” We are all on mission to share the glory of Jesus with everyone around us. This begins within the walls of our very homes, in our commitment as spouses and parents.
Our Greatest Mission
I’ve learned as I’ve gotten older and now have a family of my own that love is not always going to come naturally; building a strong foundation for a family comes through commitment and selflessness. I can say words like, “I would die for my husband and daughters” as many everyday people and heroic protagonists in brave monologues have said. But if I’m not willing to die to myself daily (Galatians 5:24), putting aside my own selfish desires in order to love and serve my family, then those brave words become void. Your family members are the people you are around far more than anyone else, and they are the people who need you more than anyone else. In Christian culture, it can look glorified to go on mission trips across the globe, to serve the homeless, or to work in ministry full time; we can sometimes even put these things on a worshiped pedestal of “the most important work”. But the majority of the time, being on mission does not feel glorified, spiritual, or even like a mission at all. Selflessness begins in small daily tasks like doing the dishes for your wife, even when you’re tired, or eating dinner at the table with your kids and having intentional conversation instead of scrolling on social media. As I recently read in a fiction book, “love is only found in the details.” (Pancol). The majority of being on mission is a simple everyday obedience to serve the people right in our homes. Our specific family members were exclusively given to us for this very reason. Putting any type of work, not to mention hobbies, screen time, and even ministry, even if they are important, above our families will suffocate the relationships we share with one another. I heard a quote in a sermon once that said, “Do not sacrifice your family on the altar of ministry.” This can apply to all types of work. Your family needs you, and what a gift it is to be needed! Whether husbands or wives or parents, it is a blessing to have people to wake up next to, to make warm meals for, to laugh with, to walk through life with, to share memories with. With daily dying to self in order to love our families, not only will we look more like Jesus, but we will be a living example to them of Jesus’ unconditional love. This is priceless.
Stay Faithful to Your Family, Fight the Flesh
We see all the time (if not most of us in our own personal experience) families torn apart by lack of commitment and the following of selfish paths. It’s the easy choice to run away when things get hard or maybe even when things are okay but when you find something new, more exciting, or seemingly better. We are prone to pursue the things that bring us pleasure (Romans 8:5). We are tempted to believe that when things are hard, it means they aren’t good. We see an influx of statements centered around “self- care” these days, especially on the Internet. Taking care of yourself physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually is so crucial to a healthy life – it is a “put your oxygen mask on before helping others” type of situation. It’s also crucial in order to not experience burn out in marriage and parenting. However, our culture often exaggerates self-care to an unnecessary degree. Jesus Himself took the time to be alone (mainly, to pray – we should learn from this example of self-care), and there was one famous time He prioritized a nap (Matthew 8:23-27). We were not created to tend to ourselves endlessly and uncompromisingly – our culture tells us the opposite. When our culture and our nature tell us the same thing, we are tempted to idolize pleasure. This is both detrimental to our families and unfulfilling to us. Romans 12:9-11 (NIV) says, “Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves. Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord.” All families have their cracks and struggles, but staying committed and doing the work to preserve what is there and heal what’s been hurt is worth it. To be fully known and share the bond that only family shares is a rare gift that is a teensy peek into the eternity of unity that awaits us in Heaven. To be on mission towards your family is to exemplify the steadfastness and devotion of Jesus.
An Age of Distraction
As families in 2024, we have a new hurdle that families of past generations didn’t: screens, a multitude and oversupply of screens. From big screens to handheld, screens have the potential to run our lives and our homes. As followers of Christ, we are called to live set apart from the world (1 Peter 2:9) and right now, being set apart could look like shutting off our TVs and setting down our phones. There are real beating hearts sitting right next to us. Our lives will not be enriched by a new video or post but by interacting with and truly being with one another. If your spouse lays beside you in bed, take the opportunity to hug them tight and spend time talking with one another before you go to sleep rather than laying silently looking at your phone. As parents, we must be an example for our kids when it comes to technology. I already think ahead to when my daughters are teenagers, and I can’t tell them to not be on their phone if I’m scrolling on my own. I want to lead them by action in all things, and this includes technology. Screens have positive sides, but they can be an easy tool for the Enemy to create distance, inauthentic relationships, and even addiction within our families. There is a pull to want to pull away from our families sometimes – to escape into a sea of distraction. We must do what we can to fight against this.
All Mission Begins and Ends with Jesus
In the little daily tasks and long term dedication, “ let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith” (Hebrews 12:1b-2a, NIV). If you have a spouse or children, they are part of the race marked out for you. Family is one way we get to experience and exemplify the love, unity, and patience found in God. Let us be the love of Christ to our families, day after day, moment after moment, even when it’s hard.
*When we talk about things being hard, this never means enduring abuse. Abuse is a different story than hard days in marriage and is never okay. Anyone – male, female, adult, or child – can suffer abuse, and you can take comfort in knowing that God can bring healing and freedom to your situation. If you think you are in an abusive relationship, here is the link for the warning signs: https://www.thehotline.org/identify-abuse/domestic-abuse-warning-signs/. You can also check out “Enough Is Enough” by Dr. David Clarke or look at the free resources at his website for more information: https://www.davideclarkephd.com/product-page/enough-is-enough. If you know you are in an abusive relationship, I hope and pray that you can find help and counseling you need, whether through the counseling services here at Cross Creek or somewhere else.
References:
SHN Staff (2023, June 26). The importance of skin-to-skin with baby after delivery. Sanford Health News. https://news.sanfordhealth.org/childrens/the-importance-of-skin-to-skin-after-delivery-you-should-know/
Pancol, Katherine, and William Rodarmor. The Slow Waltz of Turtles. Allen & Unwin, 2017.