You’ve Got a Friend in Me
Here at Cross Creek Church, our theme for 2024 is the word “mission”. We are called to be on mission for Christ, though sometimes it can be difficult to know what that looks like practically in our lives. We at More Than Sundays are here to help with that as best we can – this article is a part of a series about our God-given responsibility to live on mission in our communities, regardless of what those communities may be. We hope it is helpful and edifying for you. Please enjoy!
Other than our family, some would say that the closest people in our lives would be our friends. These are not the people connected to us by blood but rather the people connected to our hearts and souls. These are the ones that help us get through life, see us for who we really are, and love us anyway. These are the ones that give us comfort, the ones we share laughs and tears with, the ones with whom we create bonds that spread into every aspect of our lives. We build on the friendships in our inner circle which then evolve into friendships in our outer circles: our communities, our extracurricular groups, our places of employment. These moments of fellowship and connection allow us to fulfill our greater purpose of growing the Kingdom of God. Jesus had best friends and community, too. His disciples were also His friends who helped reflect who He was and helped spread His works and words. Jesus had built a connection with people from all over regardless of their status, gender, or religion. He wanted to build a community and become their friend – their best friend. As humans, we were created to be relational, to establish ourselves with other people, and to build upon that trust and love within those relationships just as Jesus did. Jesus invested in those friendships, and it’s our duty to do the same.
From the time we are young, the concept of friends develops and changes over time. When you are younger, a friend is always someone whom you can play with and who will share their toys with you, a buddy or a playmate with no conflict resolution or interpersonal relationship skills necessary. As you get older, you realize that your social and communicative skills need to develop more to determine which people you want to keep as friends. Then as we move into high school and adulthood, we start to see a more intimate side of our friends. We want to know them more deeply and share that connection with them. We start to discern between people’s actions and their hearts. When we look for qualities in a friend, we set these kinds of expectations: friends who are good listeners, friends who give generously, friends who live by the Scripture, friends who bring out the best in us, friends who make us laugh, and friends who comfort us. But what happens when we ourselves fall short of that? I for one have struggled with the traits of being a good friend. I tend to forget to text or call back or don’t do my best to intentionally work on getting to know my friends or have even forgotten their birthdays! I’ve also had bad experiences with friends and not choosing the right ones in my life with whom I could develop lasting, healthy friendships. Being in my mid-thirties, I think I have finally discovered what it means to find good friends and what it means to be a good friend. It’s more than just companionship but rather the ability to build meaningful relationships, influence others positively, nurture those deep connections, and grow as godly leaders to the people around us. Jesus wasn’t looking to impress anyone or seek anyone’s approval; rather He wanted people to know and to love Him. Jesus sat down with the sick and lowly; He shared meals with sinners and tax collectors; He prayed with the needy. These are all examples of how Jesus became a friend to all. When we decide to show love to others, Christ’s love is shown through us, bringing Him glory. So even if we fall short, we are reminded that Jesus is all those things that make Him a good friend, and when He lives in us, we are on a mission to show others those same qualities. Hebrews 10:24-25 (NLT) says, “Let us think of ways to motivate one another to acts of love and good works. And let us not neglect our meeting together, as some people do, but encourage one another, especially now that the day of his return is drawing near.” Who we surround ourselves with not only pushes us to pursue love and good works, but also the more time we spend with others, the more our character can be affected. As the well-known proverb says, “as iron sharpens iron, so a friend sharpens a friend” (Proverbs 27:17, NLT). It’s important for us to invest in every relationship in our lives. There’s a greater joy found in being present in the moment with the ones that you can be vulnerable with and learn from, just like Jesus and His friends.
But what about the people who we find more difficult to approach or have connections with? The ones that have different beliefs or morals? Jesus doesn’t say only to be friends with people who have common interests or beliefs. He tells us to love everyone. This isn’t to say that we allow the sinful behavior of others to change our hearts or that we participate in possibly sinful activities with those who don’t believe but rather that we lead by example and be the “friend of sinners” to present the good news to them – that they are loved and forgiven! It’s our Christian responsibility to speak truth and life into everyone regardless of our differences and also to allow God’s light to shine through you. While we can be open and vulnerable in creating new relationships, we are also to guard our hearts and not become naive to deception. In all the things we do, we do them with love. Jesus says in John 15:12 (ESV), “This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you.” To love one another as He has loved us means to see everyone in the eyes of Jesus rather than our own human eyes. Our own pride and selfish desires can cause us to see what’s on the outside when we don’t really know people’s hearts. But Jesus is telling us to see everyone as children of God who have been restored by Him. When we do this, it becomes easier to share the light of Jesus with anyone. Jesus goes on to say in John 15:15 (ESV), “No longer do I call you servants, for the servant does not know what his master is doing; but I have called you friends, for all that I have heard from my Father I have made known to you.” When we share what we know of Jesus, when we fellowship with one another, we are sharing what Christ has done for us. Through conversation, the power of God can be cultivated. Jesus spent time with the highest of the highs to the lowest of the lows, the ones who were considered outcasts, socially unacceptable – He was the “friend of sinners”. This is what made him such a wonderful friend.
Jesus wants to be our friend, too – our best friend. He wants us to make time for Him, to listen to Him, to share what’s on our heart, to rejoice at His counsel, and speak with love and understanding. It’s important to have people around us whom we can trust and confide in and who won’t look at us with the eyes of disapproval or disdain but rather who will welcome our situations and respond to us with love and grace. We were called to be communal creatures, to share in community, and to have people in our lives that can lead us deeper into our walks with God. We must be bold and willing to share with those who we may not necessarily call “friend”. We must step out of our comfort zone and invite people into our lives, invest in those relationships, and include them in our walks with God. Let us shift the focus from having good friends to being good friends by being rooted in Christ and growing in Christ with others.
Resources:
FamilyLife Today Podcast with Dave and Ann Wilson – “Missing: Friendship: Jared and Becky Wilson”
Got Questions.com – “What Does the Bible Say About Friends?”